CARA-AND-CANDY-HEADERDear Candy,

I’m not myself, you see. But I am myself.  Well, I was myself, but I still am, and I’m not, in a way.  So, if I was myself and I’m not now, where did I go? Especially when I am here, am I not still here? Because when I was there, I didn’t feel like I was there. I’ve tried to find myself, but I’m not gone, so why am I not here? Where am I exactly?

You see, he’s nice, but not nice, and he is and I like him.  But I don’t really –  because I like him but I don’t like, like him I just like, like, like him, because I don’t and I do, because she does and they do –  so I should.  He’s not himself, you see, well, he is himself but he isn’t. He was himself and still is, but now I’m gone.  So if I’m there, where am I?

Oh look new shoes! Facebook, snapchat, twitter. I hope you can help me because you are and you have, but you haven’t yet.

Selfies.

Yours sincerely,

Every teenage girl’s mind LOL ROFL TTYL.

Candy:

Well dip my behind in sweet cream and squat my butt in a kitchen full of kittens! Hold on a minute and I’ll use my google translate. You are speakin’ English right? Let me make this clear. You confuse me to the point where I want to scrunch into a ball and cry. I would rather spend the day reading the instructions that come with DIY furniture than hear more of your messed up backwards talk. My mamma always said young girls don’t know what’s good for them when they get an injection of the devils hormones that’s why it’s better to keep them all locked in a little cage outback until they mature, especially if they get a case of the crazy talk.

Cara:

Ok, I’m assuming you’re having trouble figuring out who you are, or what you want, from yourself/for yourself.  That’s normal when you become a teenager with new experiences. But maybe you should talk to your parents, or a trusted adult, and stop confusing the heck out of us. Also, just a note to parents not to lock your teens in cages out back when they become hard to handle, thank you.

Posted by Darius Ivan

Journalist, Photographer and Designer VR360 content creator